Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Liars and Sociopaths and Creeps, Oh My!

When you're a single mom, with a full time job and a very active social life, meeting new people is not always easy. Now I know, one would think that the term "active social life" means you're out there moving and shaking. That really isn't the case. I have a variety of friends, several different circles, all with one thing in common. We all spend time with the same people. So meeting "new" people just isn't happening. What's a girl to do? Online dating of course. I didn't want to, I fought it every step of the way but Sharon pointed out two things to me. One, I'm not going to meet anyone new at her house. Two, it will be good blog material.

She was right, so let me tell you about my latest "online dating"'s what I've got so far.

The thing with online dating that I've come to realize and sadly accept is that men (not all but most) seem to think that email is an open forum for them to just throw away normal social rules of propriety. For example:

No,it is not okay to ask me what my favorite sexual position is.

I will not, ever, in any situation send you pictures of my boobs.

Thank you for the unsolicited photo of your penis, apparently it is the brains behind your whole operation.

Is sending me pictures of your boat, the view from your front row first base line Red Sox seats and your Mercedes Benz (when all I asked for was a picture of you)supposed to impress me? I mean seriously, pretentious much?

When I ask you your name, and you say Greg and then three days later I called you back and your voice mail says your name is Gary, were you truly expecting me to be okay with that lie? Really? You actually thought I'd still meet you?

Okay, so it's been two weeks that I've been doing the online dating thing and so far I've dealt with liars and sociopaths and creeps. How's that for fun? I feel like I've entered a world that I just don't recognize.

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.


Angie Ledbetter said...

Put a disclaimer on your dating profile:
"T-SUYB" (Trolls - Stay Under Your Bridge).

But at least it's good blog fodder. :)

SharonK said...

I agree with Angie only she prob said it in a much nicer way than I would have!

I've heard the horror stories but also the success stories, don't give up hope my friend! Actually I think that you should reference this post in your dating profile. Why is it a man thinks he can hide behind a computer screen and say things that he wouldn't dare to say in person? Is it because you can't slap his face???

Have faith my friend, it may be 90% creeps but that leaves 10%.

Anyone out there know a nice man??? If so send him MY way, I'll screen him for you, Doreen!

TK said...

Are we not enough for you Doreen? :(

Holly Kennedy said...

Fun post... I have a friend going through this problem (how to meet new people). I suggested she try an organization called, which is, I believe, here in Canada and also in the US.

The logic is no creeps. You sign up for events you're personally interested in and join groups of others who do the same (no pressure to "date" anyone). Apparently it's very effective. One of the original owners went to university with my hubby; they got their MFAs together. I thought it was such an interesting idea/group that I even built it put it in my second novel, The Penny Tree!

Check it out online and see if there's one in your area. They have every kind of events you can imagine like hiking, biking, deep sea diving, bungee jumping, balloon riding... I can't think of others off the top of my head in this stream of consciousness post, but you should check it out. Much better than running into the idiots/creeps/egomaniacs using online forums who should be in prison! LOL

Doreen said...

Thanks guys for the support!!

TK, you know I love you guys...but no matter how much you wish it to be so, your wife isn't going to share you :)