Monday, June 29, 2009

What's the opposite of a rain dance?

We're not having torrential rains, flooded basements or streets, loss of power or anything to the extreme. Instead what we have is dismal, dreary weather, rotted grass and plants dead from over watering along with high water tables in lakes and rivers. And most importantly, bad weather always brings with it bad attitudes. I have to admit I'm in a bit of a funk and it's all about the weather - my skin is pale, my energy level is low and my hair has lost its sun-kissed sparkle. Plus I think I've gained a few pounds, and I'm ok blaming that on the weather too.

I have a theory, of course, and while I have been watching the weather reports diligently (10 day forecast? MORE rain. I kid you not) surprisingly not one meteorologist has even hinted at what may be at the core of all this dreariness.

It's Doreen. Again, just a theory here but I believe that Doreen is a descendant of the great Cherokee tribe and is a high priestess of Rain. The Cherokees performed ritual rain dances to both induce precipitation and to ward off evil spirits. So in her efforts to dance away the creeps of online dating, instead she summoned the great rain gods forth.

Good going D. Now quit it. Put your dancing shoes away, stop twirling and chanting because quite frankly if you keep this up I'm not sure we can stay friends much longer.

But even if she stopped now, right now, today (yes, STOP NOW Doreen. Now, now, not later now) it's already on for the next 10 days unless we do something about it. So my bloggie friends, we have 2 options as I see it.

Number One - From the wisdom of the internet, this is all I could find on how to reverse a rain dance:

How to do a rain dance, or reverse it -

  • Never do a rain dance on a hill.
    Make sure you have a lot of room so you don't run into anything.
  • Spin around in clockwise circles.
  • Make up your own rain chant. It should be rhythmical and easy to say fast.
  • Yell your rain chant while spinning around in circles.
  • If you are trying to get rid of rain, spin in counterclockwise circles and say your chant backwards.
Number Two - Build an ark.

I vote for Number One - what do you think?

2 comments:

Little Ms J said...

I like the ark thing personally. It would require time off work. I'm in.

Doreen said...

Just one more day of sun... just one more day during my vacation...is that too much to ask!?!