Thursday, July 9, 2009

The Moose is on the Loose


Moose, noun

1. a large, long-headed mammal, Alces alces, of the deer family, having circumpolar distribution in the Northern Hemisphere, the male of which has enormous palmate antlers.

2. (initial capital letter) a member of a fraternal and benevolent organization (Loyal Order of Moose).

3. oldest offspring of SharonK, male in persuasion, elusive, tends to dwell in cave when in the home environment, occasionally appearing for meals and beverages.

Everyone knows about Ziggy, my youngest, and well, definitely the bubblier of my offspring. I love them equally but don't talk about Moose nearly as much, he's scarce around these parts. Therefore he just doesn't give me quite as much material.

M
y Moose (definition #3 in case you weren't sure), while he does have some of those personality quirks that are singular to the male species, is for the most part, a good kid.

Don't get me wrong, we've had our moments. Raising a boy-child as a young single mom was akin to joining the circus and having to be the ringleader, lion tamer and tight-rope walker all in one.

Refusing to study French because "the teacher is a loser" (failed the class, you showed him, didn't you Moose?), late night phone calls for a ride home (twice), underage drinking (remind me to tell you how happy he was when I found a case of beer in the house and emptied every single can down the sink) and in spite of the fact he's turning 23 in a few weeks, he has yet to master the skills necessary to bring the empty trash barrels back up the driveway. Yeah, we're still working on that one. But I wouldn't trade him if I could. (Trust me, there is a very strict no return policy)

Here are some fun facts about Moose:

He travels in small packs and socialize with animals similarly named - Theodopolis, Crookie, The Juice, J-Rod, Captain, Fresh and Goose.

In spite of the thousands of dollars invested in his beautiful teeth, he frequently objects when I ask him to show his friends what mommy bought him.

C
ave dweller in his home environment, Moose becomes almost unrecognizable when at his place of employment. Warm, welcoming and helpful, he morphs into a cordial, intelligent young man who is capable of speaking in full sentences. He offers help - get this! - without being asked three times. Sometimes without even being asked at all.

I don't believe I can do anything to embarrass him. I try, I really do.

Hobbies include sister-tormenting, texting and sleeping.

I'm not going to lie, Moose is not the neatest creature. Oh, except after he's had a party that wasn't supposed to happen. When we come home and the house is cleaner than when we left it, that's one thing. But when the toilet paper holder that was broken before we left is now fixed, we know there's been a party. In this day and age of digital, you'd think the kids would take pictures of the house before so they'd know how it should look after. Amateurs.

When we were younger we couldn't wait to get out of our parent's houses, out on our own, living the grown up life. Moose and his friends, they're all perfectly content to stay at home and live with mom and dad until... I have no idea. Which makes me wonder - does this make us better parents than our parents were? Or worse?

1 comment:

Doreen said...

I think it's a boy thing. My boy has the makings of a moose. He dwells in his cave and only comes out for food and drink, or if he wants money...yeah there is always that...