Monday, September 28, 2009

Don't ask me about my business

I was recently invited to a Red Sox game by a friend of mine, MH. I met MH at Sharon & TK's annual dinner party last year. He's a fun guy, we occasionally grab dinner together and we've become pretty good friends. I received the text at 10:00 a.m. "wanna go to the Red Sox game tonight?". I answered at 10:01 "YES".

Imagine my surprise when we walked to our seats and we were in the front row above the visitors dugout! These were some sweet seats my friends. I know you're jealous. I could reach across and touch one of the players.

As I was saying, the seats were great. Kids would come down and stand in the aisle and yell to the players to throw them a ball. The visiting team were kind of jerks and these kids had to really work it. So of course, we were all yelling to the players to give the kid a ball...only three kids got balls. Eventually they stopped coming down to try to get one.

The guy sitting to the left of me across the aisle was dressed in dress slacks and a pink dress shirt. I think he was a mob boss. After the last kid got a ball, he leaned over to me and began to tell me this story about how a couple of weeks ago the visiting team were throwing balls up to the kids left and right. Imagine a heavy Italian Jersey accent:

Mob Dude: There was this one kid, kept taking all the balls. This kid had eleven balls, can you believe it?"


Me: Wow really?

Mob Dude: Yeah, freaking kid was hogging all the balls - so we started catching them and rolling them down the dugout to the other kids

Me: That was nice of you

Mob Dude: So this kid, he goes back to his seat and his father comes down and says which one of yous is taking the balls away from my son?

Me: "He did?"

Mob Dude: Yeah, so stood up and I says to him unless you want t
o be carried out of here in a body bag, get your F*&^ing A&^ back to your seat. If you come down here again I'll F*&^ing kill you!

Me: Oh my

So now I'm a little scared of this dude. I avoid making eye contact with him for the next few innings. I mention to MH that I wish I could have gotte
n a ball ... Mr. Mob Dude hears me and says "You want a ball? I'll get you a ball" I'm all "Oh no, it's okay really" Then he yells down to one of the players "Hey" The dude looks up and the two make eye contact. Then my new mob connection says "Give the girl a ball" and kinda shrugs his head towards me. The player goes into the dug out and I said "Ohh it's really okay thanks for trying" but before I knew it, the player comes back and throws me up a ball. I think my ball was better than if a player hit it because this ball was used for field practice...so it had a little piece of Fenway all over it.MH (always the sales guy) is passing out his business cards to people in the surrounding seats. When he saw that this guy got me a ball he told me to ask where the guy worked. I'm like dude, I am NOT asking him about his business, and you shouldn't either...he may put out a hit on us. Let's say he's in waste management and leave it at that.

So, I woke up that morning with no clue that I would be going to the Red Sox game, have amazing seats, meet a mob dude and some how get a baseball from the game. All in all, it was a pretty cool day!

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