Thursday, September 24, 2009


Instant messaging has become a part of our everyday lives. We use it to talk to our kids. We use it to talk to our spouses. We use it socially. We use it professionally.

And sure, it can be annoying when that little bling sounds and a message pops up. Especially when you're in the middle of a project and a friend sends you a "Hey! Sup?" message.

Luckily there's this well-known but not-used-enough feature called the Away Message. Though I'm not entirely sure why people keep IM on and use an away messages instead of shutting the program down completely but... I have to admit I do it, too.

There's a standard away message that comes with the program - "I am currently away from my computer." There are other, equally boring variations of the same theme - "I am away from my computer but will receive your message when I return."

You can be right in the middle of an IM conversation and all of a sudden - bling! - you get an away message. I'm not sure if there's protocol for the away message but no one's complaining. At least not to me.

So how cool would it be if we could use these away messages for every other aspect of our lives?

Your fringe friend calls and is talking your ear off about her kid's cat and their second trip to the vet this week. She's just about to describe how they took Fluffy's temperature and bling! She gets an automated earful - "I'm away. Far far away. But hang tight, I may be back soon!"

Or your aunt is over for dinner and as usual, launts into a detailed description of your incredibly thin, successful, well married and perfect cousin. When out of nowhere she hears bling! "Love to hear more. But I have a root canal to get to!"

Your mom's bunions. Your neighbor's colonoscopy. Your child's fifth request for McDonalds in a half hour. Bling! Bling! Bling!

Here are a few away messages I have come across - I wish I could use a few of these in real life!

I'm tied up. And not in a good way.

I am currently at my computer but have no desire to speak with you. Now go away.

If you are Tammy - it's over. Stop im'ing me.

I'm taking advantage of indoor plumbing, be right back.

The Sharon show will return after these messages. Stay tuned!

Sharon's computer is broken right now and you have reached her fridge. Your message will be stuck to me with a magnet until she's back.

I'm not talented enough to type and pick my nose at the same time. Be right back!

Away. What is away? Are we ever really away? Are we ever really present? Do we even actually exist?

What away messages would you use in real life, if you could?


TK said...

I'm away doing something more important than talking to don't bother with a message I'll just ignore it anyway

Anonymous said...

I dunno.. this is a tough one for me... my entire life is a Stay Away message..

Anonymous said...

How about just BUG OFF!!