Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Ode to my Fat Pants

Fat Pants, oh Fat Pants, the time for honesty is upon us.

I have looked deep within my heart and what I have found there is not pretty.

It is, dare I say, a hotbed of deceit. A labyrinth of lies. Couched among good intentions untruths remain.

I must set free my spirit and find the path to honesty and enlightenment.

I used you.

I never wanted you.

I do not need you today.

I may never need you again.

And yet in spite of my complete distaste and disregard for your presence, I am uunable to release you from my hold.

I will not allow you your independence.

There may come a time, though I pray the day shall never dawn, that I will use you once again. I will manipulate your very fibers to my being. I will envelope myself in your presence.

And I will despise you for it.


Anonymous said...

My fat pants are brown, stretchy and a little too short for me, even more reasons to hate them.

Holly said...

Very funny...I think I have those same brown pants...and the bigger my ass gets the shorter they are!!!