Despite my tendency to self destruct and my fear of commitment, Batman and I are doing very well. We've increased our dating frequency from once a week to two and sometimes three times a week. We call each other "honey" and "babe". We have fun together regardless of what we are doing. He tells me I'm beautiful.
Oh, and he wants to kick me.
You see, Batman is kind of a bad-ass. What I mean by that is that he used to teach Kick Boxing. I've seen him do his moves and I've got to tell you, it's kind of sexy! So his brilliant plan, is to make me a bad-ass too. I'm actually kind of digging that plan. More for the work out than the whole fighting thing of course. My only problem is that I bruise easily. I mean REALLY easily. I'm worried people are going to think he's beating me.
Once, he was showing me how to block a punch with some sort of karate-Jiu-Jitsu-Bruce-Lee move. I was not putting my hands up high enough so he took a wrist in each hand to just lift them up higher. When I left, I had a bruise on one of my wrists where his thumb was. It's not like he grabbed me hard or even applied pressure, but there it was...this brownish yellow bruise. It didn't hurt at all, but it was not pretty to look at.
When he devised this plan, I readily agreed, forgetting about the fact that I bruise, I forgot what a delicate flower I am. But I can't back down now can I? I even dared to say that maybe some day I would be good enough to kick his butt.
He laughed of course.
Then he cradled my face in his hands, gave me a kiss on the lips and said "Sweetie, that day will never come."
We shall see Batman, we shall see.
So my friends, when you see me battered and bruised please know that I am not a victim of domestic abuse.
I'm a bad-ass Kick Boxer.