Thursday, November 5, 2009

Facebook, oh Facebook... again

In light of the retarded recent changes to Facebook, I thought I'd repost this classic. Because some things never change...

Dear Facebook,

We have to talk.

You're not the same as you were when we first met. You've changed.

In the beginning I will admit I was a bit reluctant, but my friends insisted I give you a chance and so I did. At first we had so much fun didn't we? We'd spend hours together. You wanted to know everything about me, how old I was, where I lived, what I did for work, where I went to high school, who my other friends even encouraged me to share my pictures with you. The more time I spent with you, the more I got to know you and the more I liked you.

You even helped me reconnect with old friends, and I thought that I was so lucky to have you.

But lately, you've changed.

At first the changes were subtle. I don't know why, but you changed your whole look. I didn't say anything because hey, sometimes we all feel the need for a little make-over from time to time. Who am I to judge?

But now, you're moving things around without asking me and frankly I just think that's rude. You don't do the same things you used to do for me anymore. What brought this on? Why do you have to make it so difficult for me to see my friend's status updates all at once? I used to love that about you and with no regard to my opinion you just stopped showing them to me. What have I done to deserve this?

I know you have insecurity issues, but how many times do I have to tell you that I am not leaving you for Twitter? I have no profile there. You can check, although I'm sure you already have. But even if I were to have a profile there, we had no commitments. This was supposed to be casual fun, remember? Yes I know you think I have a commitment phobia, but this isn't about me, it's about you - so let's try to stay focused.

And seriously FB, the stalking emails have got to stop. At first I looked forward to your notification emails, but 20-30 a day? It's really getting out of control. It's a distraction for me at work, I do have a job you know.

I have to be honest with you, my friends have noticed the change in you as well. They are starting to resent you too. I hear them talk and it hurts.

I'm not saying I want to break-up, but I miss the way things used to be. All I'm asking is that you stop worrying about what Twitter is doing, stop being so insecure (it's really kind of a turn-off) and stop changing.

Just be you.~ Doreen


Doreen said...

HA! That was an good one, and you're right - FB is making more stupid changes. I mean seriously what is with the "live feed" versus the regular feed?

FYI Facebook, you're ass DOES look fat in those jeans.

Anonymous said...


What IS with FB lately??? On my "wall" (hate that expression) things posted months ago are coming up as new and new stuff is missing and and and ..... how AM I to follow my nephew and niece as they divorce on FB? How AM I supposed to get all the good gossips?

Oh, why, why? WHY?

The Grasshopper said...

Great post as always!