Monday, November 23, 2009

Who am I to judge?

Sometimes I can be a bitch. A very judgmental bitch.

Batman asked me the other night why I was so quiet. So I spilled it.

I got into an argument with my sister (the Diva) and it had been bothering me all day. He asked which one (he's still trying to remember the names of my many siblings). When I told him the story he said he saw my point, but wasn't it a little to late for the situation to change now? He was right. But I still got on my soap box, pointed out how foolish I thought she was being and yeah I might have even thrown in that I thought she was selfish too. Nice sister I am huh?

Then Batman asked me a question that I had not asked myself. Would I judge my friends the way I judged my sister? Would I have made them feel bad about their choices? The answer was no.

I love my friends and I hate to see anyone make mistakes in life. I hate to see people I care about falter, stumble or get into situations that they could have avoided if they had just taken a different route. But with my family, when I see my baby sister stumble, when I see her fall it is a different kind of feeling. With family, you want to protect them. You want to help, offer words of wisdom, beg them to learn from your mistakes. And with family, more often then never comes out that way at all.

So I judged her. I made her feel worse for a situation that had spun out of control. I pointed out her flawed plan, I told her how I would have handled the situation. I told her she was selfish. Like most people who are backed into a corner, she got defensive. The conversation escalated into an argument. I never raised my voice, but the damage was done.

The good news is that we are sisters and we love each other. We've both let the moment go and have moved on. But I've been reminded that I am not put on this earth to judge people. I'm not perfect, I've made mistakes in my life. I'm older by 12 years, so I've learned from my mistakes. I have to let her learn from hers too.

Although I tease her and call her a Diva, I love her and am thankful to have her for a sister. Life is shorter than we realize. In a blink of an eye it passes you by. We only have this lifetime to treat the people we love with respect, kindness, patience and understanding.

In this situation, I am the one who faltered.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


I think judging people is highly under rated.

It's what keeps us safe from harm, it's what gives us a sense of guidance.

I rely on my good judgement about situations, people, life to guide me.