Friday, December 4, 2009

New Reality

I feel like I've entered a new reality.

Sort of Twilight Zone (the original series. Excellent stuff) meets Sesame Street.

Imagine, if you will, two little people. Little people who speak their own language. A combination of English, gibberish, Hindu and pig latin.

You come from a world of big people. Big people who don't cry when it's time for bed. Big people who do their business in the bathroom, not their pants.

You are comfortable here, in your safe world that you know. But suddenly you are thrust into an alternate universe. A universe that is like the one you came from, only very different.

You have entered the Toddler Zone.

Remember when Doreen redesigned our family room when TK and I were having a date night?

Yeah, well coming home to a houseful of furniture completely rearranged is nothing compared to what it looks like after having two toddlers move in with us.

This time of year I put a pot on the stove with oranges and cloves or apples and cinamon. Or sometimes this awesome candle from Yankee that smells like fresh baked cookies. The house fills with a wonderful aroma that smells so homey.

Right now? Not so much. More like a combination of Desitin and poop, with just a hint of barf.

I can't even tell you how exhausted I have been these past two weeks. I felt the same way last year. But last year I had mono.

This year I have toddler-itis.

Even with mono, by this time last year my ten foot tree was up and fully decorated. My staircase was draped with garland and ribbon. Candle light shone in every window and wreaths hung on every door. Christmas cards were written, stamped and ready to go and my shopping was just about done.

This year... well, your Christmas card may get to you by Easter.

I've gone from making major decisions, running meetings, reading spreadsheets and conversations that begin with "Based on my research, it appears that the best course of action would be..."

To clipping coupons for diapers, comparing brands of apple juice for their sugar content, fighting with a safety device meant to keep kids out of cabinets but instead keeps me out of cabinets and having conversations that begin with "Don't hit your sister, no, no, you can't scratch her either, share that toy, good boy, hands to yourself, wait, let me wipe your nose..."

It took me years to remember to take my car keys, laptop, cell phone, wallet, purse, sunglasses, regular glasses and wedding ring. And sometimes I still forget a thing or two.

Now add to that list diapers, wipes, books, sippy cups, crackers and toy du jour that if you don't bring they will ask for 100 times, like a broken record stuck on that one phrase "Where's Barbie?". 100 times on the 2 minute drive to the store.

The Toddler Zone is crazy, hectic and exhausting. But I have to admit, I'm loving it.


Little Ms J said...


Doreen said...

I'm loving it even more...because I get to come and play and enjoy your little angels, and then I get to go home :)

Anonymous said...

I have to admit , i found it quite hysterical
listening to you on the way home tell me about your exhausting everything go wrong day , when the worst thing that happened to me that day was my sweet tea wasn't sweet!! i am in love with those two maniacs!!!! you are doing a fantastic job!!! Spendy