Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Man Texting 101

*** Don't forget - bone marrow drive this week!

A friend recently asked "Do men text smiley faces to each other?"

Hmmm... do they? I knew what I thought but then again, I'm not a guy. So I called Moose.

"Hey when you're texting a friend and he tells you good news..."

"No we do not text smiley faces to each other."

"I didn't finish."

"I knew what you were going to say. Nor do I use exclamation points. Ever."

"Because?"

"Because that's a chick thing. Guys just don't."

"Ok so say you're texting a friend and you say something and he replies with a smiley face. What do you do?"

"I hope he made a mistake."

"Huh. Well what if, just go with me here, what if you sent him one -"

"I wouldn't."

"I know. But let's just say you did."

"Ok say I did. But I wouldn't. So don't say I did to any of your friends or anything."

"Ok."

"And don't post on your blog that I did either."

"Alright look, let's say it wasn't you. Let's say Superstar texted Man-Ho and Man-Ho replied with a smiley face. With me so far?"

"Is this going to take long?"

"Superstar replies to Man-Ho's smiley face with one of those faces where you stick your tongue out, you know, when you use the letter P for the mouth? Do guys do that?"

"Never."

"So what if he did? What if Man-Ho replied back to a smiley face with a stick out your tongue face?"

"Then he's gay."

"What if he's not gay, which we both know Man-Ho is not."

"Then I'd ask him why he had been pretending he wasn't gay all this time when he clearly is."

"Well thank you once again for your insight."

"No problem mom. And if you mention this on your blog don't even think about saying it was me that sent the smiley faces. Guys just don't do that."

"Hey one more quick question - what if you were texting a girl? Would you send one then?"

"Bye mom."

"No wait! What if the person who received the tongue sticking out replies with a wink? And if it's two guys? Or a guy and a girl? Then what?"

"Love you. Bye mom."

Hmmm...

Do men send smileys to women?

If you're dating and newly in love, I think yes, probably. And it's cute but not annoying. Yet.

If you're just friends and the guy is straight, then no.

If you're married, well... not likely. But if a husband does send a smiley what does that mean? After all, we're pretty sure at this point he's not gay, right?

I say one of three things:

1) He's not currently mad at you. Which is good.
2) He just bought tickets to the Superbowl and is softening you up before telling you. Not so good (unless you have a pair of boots you've been eyeing and are willing to negotiate)
3) He's in the dog house and desperately wants out. Could be good or not so good, depending on how you look at it.

If it's Number 1, maybe you should reply back with a wink. I would.
Number 2, well I don't know how you would reply but me? I would send a >:-(.

And Number 3? Well that might not even get a reply, depending on what he's in the dog house for. Or in the time honored tradition of female communication he'd get a one word reply. "Fine." But again, that's just me.

As for guy to guy smiley faced texting... I have to agree with Moose.

Guys just don't do that.

5 comments:

Little Ms J said...

Dude, I can barely get my husband to text me, period. He made it known while we were dating, "I'm not a texting kind of guy." Cool. I'm not a camping kind of girl. All's fair.

Anonymous said...

Finally men have a way of communicating that does not include eye contact. And they can watch the game at the same time.

Doreen said...

Batman and I text all the time. A few things I've noticed...he NEVER ever uses a smiley face even with me. I do get an xo every day. The other thing I've noticed is that although he is great to talk to in person, very engaging and funny...he has no text personality at all. Personally, I think it's the lack of !!'s and smiley faces....but I do love my morning xo's :)

Debbie said...

The men in my family don't even use capitalization or punctuation. Smiley faces are way beyond them.

Anonymous said...

:-)
:0
;-/
>:(