Friday, January 29, 2010

Why have you forsaken me?

Keurig, look, I'm trying to be nice.

I'm trying not to pick a fight.

But it's seven a.m.

I want coffee.

No I need coffee.

And you're totally holding out on me. It's too early and I'm too crabby to cajole and coerce so, really...what's your problem????

Seriously, is all the attitude necessary?

I take care of you. I follow your instructions as best as I know how. I do what I'm told, when I'm told. I give you love and respect and hey, I even talk you up to my friends. Last week I was singing your praises to a total stranger in line at the grocery store.

I don't know what else to do to prove I love and need you. When did we lose that specialness? That certain something we shared? The quiet mornings when I curled my hands around you and snuggled close, you warming me from the inside out. Why has our relationship has become so one way?

I give and I give and I give. And what do I get back?

I mean sure, you act like you're going to give back. I'm convinced of it as I hear the brewing noises, those sweet little sounds you make that tell me you love me too. And then... Dribbles. A splash. Brown mud in the bottom of my cup.

What's up with that?

I'm not gonna lie. There's only so much I can take. I'm only human Keurig. And I have needs. You can shut me off for only so long before I can't bear it anymore.

I know where I can get coffee and I'm not afraid to go there. Dunkins, unlike you, is always there for me. Twenty four seven.

Tell you what, why don't you stick that in your pot and boil it for a while then we'll see who's left with an empty cup.


Anonymous said...

Maybe you should bring yours over to my house, park it next to my Keurig (a much younger specimen) and let it see how it is supposed to give love. Perhaps it's just a little senile and needs a reminder of "the good old days"?
AB (I don't want to type the full name, the rugrats might hear)

Doreen said...

I love my Keurig, but there is something to be said for the smell of a pot of coffee brewing in the morning. I remember way back, years and years ago pre-TK ... when the morning after a party, we'd sit at the kitchen table a fresh pot of coffee brewed to perfection. The aroma filling the house...mmmm. I think when I come over next Saturday, for old times should take out your old coffee maker and brew us up a pot. Perhaps the Keurig will get jealous and maybe start treating you better!

Carolyn said...

I cannot live without my Keurig... but I am on my second generation... and I had to replace my nephew's too! Why? According to the wonderful folks in the customer service department my filtered water is not as pure as poland springs. Huh. I also followed the book's recommendation of descaling every 4-6 months, but the CS folks told me it really should be done every 4-6 weeks. I now spend the first Sat of every month descaling. For the love of the K cup.

SharonKendrew said...

This is our 2nd one too, and it's only maybe 2 years old?

AB - there's a good chance my old dog will teach your young pup bad habits. And next it would encourage my popcorn machine to not pop, which is almost as bad as no coffee.

I miss the smell of fresh coffee brewed too, that's the one disadvantage for sure. And the timer - I would set it on work days so that instead of my alarm waking me, I woke up to the smell of coffee.

Yeah, Keurig, it may be splitsville for me and you. Unless TK steps in to save your sorry self.

Little Ms J said...

What the hell is a Keurig? I'm assuming some kind of coffee maker, but I'm too lazy to Google.

sharon said...

Oh Ms J of the Starbucks fetish, it's a coffee maker that makes one cup at a time in seconds... you must check it online for sure.

Shelby said...

yes.. what IS Keurig?

I have to have my coffee in the morning... these things I so understand.

Debbie said...

That's the way. Don't let those appliances have the upper hand.

SharonKendrew said...

Shelby, thanks for stopping by! Keurig must be a New England thing? It's an awesome machine, when it's working. All the cool kids have one...

Debbie, if the Keurig doesn't get its act together it will go the way of my Handspring and vcr.

TK said...

I'm with SB on this...I can not bear your half assed attempts at fulfilling my NEEDS. When I desire it I want it. Keep it up and I'm kicking you to the curb for the above mentioned younger model

Shelby said...

cool.. I'll ask my daughter about the Keurig (she's 14 and thinks she's cool).