Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Where's Alice?

Dear Alice,

When Carol and Mike made the life changing decision to blend their families and create the happy chaos that became their world, you were there for them.Thick and thin. Good times and bad.

You were the glue that held that family together and you know it.

Every time Carol was in the kitchen, whether she was preparing a snack for the cheerleaders after practice or a gourmet meal of pork chops and applesauce for her family, there you were.

When Marcia's date for the school dance canceled, you rallied to find a substitute better than the original. When the kids came down with measles, you were their Florence Nightengale. Whatever Mike and Carol needed to make their lives easier, you did it - and Carol didn't even work outside the home!

All day every day, you were there for them. Even your relationship with Sam the Butcher was put on hold for "your family".

And what did you get in return?

Really Alice, take a moment.

Remember this? Yeah, you may have been smiling but who were you kidding?

What kind of people were they that they would let this happen to you? I shudder to even think about it.

So where are they now?

Alice look, the kids are grown and gone. Greg is too busy with his career to return your calls. Cindy doesn't even send you Christmas cards since she's gone all new age or whatever. And don't even get me started on Peter. I know it sounds hurtful but I'm telling you this in love.

They just don't need you anymore.

But here's the thing - I do. We do!

Just imagine all the fun we could have chasing around the rug rats, cheering Ziggy on at competitions, helping Moose decorate his new house and hey, TK loves pork chops and applesauce!

I may not have the groovy clothes and blonde flip that Carol sported back in the day but maybe you'll come to love me anyway. C'mon at least give it a try. What do you have to lose???

Listen - I've never had to share my kitchen, but I will. The menu planning, the meal prep and the boundless joy I experience from cleaning up meal after meal after meal will all be yours.

I will selflessly give it over to your capable hands. My gift to you, Alice.

And even though laundry duty is my personal source of happiness I will gladly cede the immense pleasure I get from sorting, washing, drying and folding so that you can do what you do best. There's a glow about you that can only be achieved when you're carrying a full basket of clean clothes.

I bet you miss that. I can help you get it back.

Mopping, scrubbing, vacuuming - hey, it will be a sacrifice for me to give these things up but for
you? I would give these things up for nobody.

Nobody but
you, Alice.

We both know relinquishing the abundant delight I receive from managing this household will be a challenge for me. But knowing you will be by my side as I leaf through magazines and pull out new recipes for you to prepare will make it all worthwhile.

The next chapter in your life is starting Alice - be bold!

Don't settle for humdrum when you can have it all, right here, right now!

Embrace a new adventure!

Live a life worth living once again!

Your room and uniform are waiting, Alice. You deserve it. Now come get it!

- Sharon


Anonymous said...

Dunno how to tell ya this but Alice married Sam and they have a NO KIDS sign out on their lawn.

Little Ms J said...

Good luck. I hope she writes you back. But, do me a favor? Let her have a love life. The poor lady...