Friday, December 3, 2010

Oh hey, Christmas.

Oh hey, Christmas.

How long have you been standing there?

I mean, I knew you were coming but you didn't have to creep up on me like that or anything.

I sort of wish you would've, you know, called first.

Or texted maybe.

Sorry the place isn't quite ready. I really meant to clean up those leaves before you got here. Did you bring any snow?

What's that behind your back? A light up inflatable Mickey Mouse in a Santa Suit? Um, right over there is good. Just nudge those rotting pumpkins aside.

You know you're always welcome here, right? But we haven't even polished off the Halloween candy and now I'm expected to go all candy cane and fruitcake. Don't even get me started on those sugar plums dancing in my head.

I'm not using a tone. No, I don't have an attitude. Maybe you're the one with the attitude.

I mean technically you're a whole month after Thanksgiving but we both know you expect us to roll out the red carpet the second the turkey is out of the oven. Sooner even.

Like a whole flippin' season of Christmas.

No, no, don't go! I'm sorry, of course we're excited to see you! That's crazy talk. Just a little unprepared, is all. Holiday moodiness and all. I'll be into the Christmas Spirit in no time! You'll see.


Tinsel? For me? Hey, you really shouldn't have!


I did! I did get you something too! Wait, it's right, um, here... I picked it up along with four thousand other things on Black Friday. You know me though, it won't be wrapped til just shy of six a.m. Christmas morning.


Well listen, you make yourself at home while I run around for the next 21 days or so.


Just throw your things on every available surface, wall and window.


I'll clean it all up sometime in January.


Maybe.

6 comments:

Woman in Love said...

I got my menorah right here. So easy. :)

Anonymous said...

It is coming at us waaaay to fast. I believe that I need a little eggnog to get through it...well maybe a lot of eggnog

Petra said...

I need some Gluhwein!!! xo nicely said!

Little Ms J said...

I've been eyeballing Christmas trees, but can't commit. We're gone for almost all of December, so I figure what's the point? Next year, though? Santa will have exploded, I'm sure.

Sharon Kendrew said...

WIL - menorah = eight nights of gifts. Bring it on!

TK and Petra - as long as you share with others...

J - Pick up a fake one that will get you through a few seasons (is that me saying that???) trust me when I tell you you'll be too freakin' exhausted next year to care about a tree.

Anonymous said...

christmas time is the best time to get your children wonderful gifts..especially your daughter(s)