Tuesday, January 18, 2011

What's Not Awesome

Here are some random thoughts on what's not awesome.


Poop.

I don't care who you are. No one thinks poop is awesome.

People who think they are awesome. And are wrong. A.k.a not awesome.

Disappearing Acts.

It doesn't matter if it's a friend, an employee or a dog, disappearing is just not awesome.

Exes.

The only exception to the above rule. Exes = not awesome. Exes who disappear? Totally awesome.

Loading my razor up with toothpaste. That really could've hurt.

My BFF watching me do the above.

Listing charity work on your resume that you didn't actually do. Not only not awesome but really kind of jerky too. Yeah, talking to you DT.

Stupid girls who don't know how awesome Moose is. Stupid girls. Totally not awesome.

Hitting on a pastor's wife. God's going to show you how awesome that was not, buddy.

Whoever spoke the F-bomb in front of my three year old. I will not awesome up the side of your head when I find out who you are.

Parents who let their kids scream, bang spoons and run around in restaurants.

Boy smell. Moms of teenage boys, I have felt your pain.

Miley Cyrus. Hannah Montana was awesome. Miley Cyrus? Not awesome. Unless she put ona few more clothes, acted less hoochie and maybe threw in a few morals.

Reality Shows. Really? Enough already.

The four thousand eight hundred trillion seventy nine million dollars and sixty two cents it takes to keep a teenage girl happy. For six hours.

The Snooki hair thing on a sixty year old. Or a six year old. Either way. Not awesome.

Granny panties. Unless you're, you know, a granny.

Dogs who barf in the middle of the night. Nasty crap that they had no right eating in the first place. On my freshly cleaned carpets. So. Not. Awesome.


So, what's not awesome in your life?

As a side note, this is dedicated to my good friend Woman in Love, who didn't make this list because she is totally awesome... sorry for the wait. Hugs and kisses!