Friday, April 1, 2011
"So it's the big day, huh?"
"Too bad it's such an unlucky number."
"Who's trying to be funny? Ides of March, right? That was on the fifteenth. Really bad day for Caesar."
"That was March. My birthday's in April."
"But still. Fifteen. Dude was killed. Had to be the worst day of his life."
"Whatever. Still not funny. Or relevant."
"If you were Jewish it would be different. You'd have a bat mitzvah. That would be fun."
"That's at thirteen mom, not fifteen."
"Exactly! If you were having a bat mitzvah at fifteen that would be very unlucky. Since all your friends would've done it two years earlier. So you'd be, like, the slow kid. Short bus."
"You feeling ok?"
"Though I suppose if we were Hispanic, you'd have a quesadilla. That might have been nice."
"Ugh. It's a quincenera!"
"It is? Well I've never had one but it doesn't sound nearly as tasty as quesadilla."
"Mom, I think we're good here. You can stop talking now."
"Ok well... no, wait. What about Abigail?"
"Taylor Swift's friend? You know in the song, Fifteen?"
"Where are you going with this?"
"Ziggy please. "Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind." And she was... you guessed it. Fifteen. Sad, really."
"What is wrong with you?"
"I'm just saying. If you can get this one over fairly quick it would be better for us both."
"Oh because I can make 365 days go by in what, like 240?"
"Might be worth looking into, Zig. I mean, what's 15 anyway? Not even it's own number. It takes a 1 and a 5 to make 15. And when you add one and five together you get six. You see what I'm saying?"
"Six, Ziggy. You get six. Exactly the age I was when my first pet, a sweet little stripey thing we called Tiger, ripped my pajamas to shreds while I was wearing them. While I was wearing them, Ziggy! Can you imagine how traumatized I was?"
"About as traumatized as I'm going to be after this conversation?"
"I'm just saying. Fifteen, well it's kind of the black eye of birthdays. Something nobody really wants. No one ever says "Black eye? Why yes, that'd be awesome!" You see, it's like the Lindsay Lohan of birthdays, just you know, really messed up. No wait, it's like - "
"Great mom. Good talk."
"Oh, right. Good talk. Yup. And hey - happy birthday Ziggy."